Where do I even begin? So who starts a blog and takes a hiatus as soon as they start?
Uhm… This girl. Awkward...
A part of me is dying of embarrassment, shame, guilt, like I let others down. I feel like already failed but did I even really start? I had all these ideas, all these dreams for this blog and they just halted. I’ve been analyzing myself, my heart, this situation. To be honest I don’t know what happened, May and June feel like fog of joy and hardships.
A part of me says my lack of time, the end of the school year and the beginning of summer hit me hard. Like literally, we got in a car accident, had to replace our car, carseats all on top of ending the school year, birthdays, vbs, Father's Day, anniversary...
“Summer break has felt less than a break and more like I’m breaking.”
Summer break has felt less than a break and more like I'm breaking. Summer does that for me sometimes, my comfortable schedule gets karate chopped by life and I’m desperate for routine even though everyday looks the same, I cant remember if the week is ending or is it just beginning?
Another part of me fears that it was fear. Like I got up on stage and suddenly got stage fright, my mouth wants to move but nothing seems to come out so I ran red faced and covered my head with sheets of doing nothing because sometimes doing nothing feels more comfortable than stepping out of your comfort zone. But that doing nothing has me in funk because I know Im supposed to be doing something!
“So where do I go from here? Simple. Where I left off!”
I probably sound like I'm ranting now. I tend to get stuck in analyzing myself, my decisions. I’ve been stuck for too long. So where do I go from here? Simple. Where I left off! Taking off those covers and I'll just keep going. I’m sure that most of the embarrassment and guilt is myself judging myself.
I know I’m not alone in that, do you do that too? Beat yourself up when you start something and don’t finish, or maybe you haven’t even started at all and you feel you need to? You thought this time you were going to get organized, this time you were going to eat better, hit the gym, start that bible reading plan, take a shower, get out of the house, keep working on that blog? These are all me ya'll!
I'm here to tell you, take off those covers that are stopping you from your goals. Lets shake off the guilt, the fears that lie to us. Shake off all that funk. Sometimes it gets comfortable hiding under those covers, its warm and cozy but then you start to feel like your suffocating, like you need a breath of fresh air. Lets do that together, it will be worth it, it might be feel awkward but it will be worth it.
“And I’m sure of this, He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion...”
So here I go again, I’m sure it won't be perfect, I’m sure I’ll get stumped here and there but I’m giving myself grace to move forward because at the end of the day I’ll hold on to this truth that is for you and me. "And I'm sure of this, He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion…" Phillipians 1:6
